Skip the Promises
The ones I make myself, that is
Books, books, books. That’s what I thought would fill my retirement days. I told my book group at work that when that day came, I’d have a three-foot stack by my chair. I’d just read, read, read. All day long.
Well… that did not happen.
But, yes, I became consumed by books in retirement: the ones I am writing! It’s a long story how I became a fiction author.
More interesting, though, is how I constantly ride myself about doing more, getting things done, finishing a book, writing a post here. Sigh…
I’ve been retired for five years, a widow for most of them. I’ve struggled with a lot, but not just the grief. I’m quite the multitasker even in the struggle realm.
My lack of productivity (my version) for the past few months has plagued me. So much so that I considered reaching out to the therapist I saw in 2019. Maybe she could help? Then I decided I didn’t need that kind of help. I just needed to stop fretting about unimportant things.
What are the important things though? Well…
I get to decide.
I entered 2026 with the goal to publish my fourth novel and publish another devotional. I will definitely… no, mostly likely … get those accomplished. I’m not under contract, except with myself. And Julie2026 is a chill girl. Okay, that’s not accurate. She’s chill-er.
They’ll get done when they get done. No push to get the novel out in March. No push to get the devotional out by September. The musical notes of deadlines whooshing by is playing on my brain’s turntable.
I’m a bit surprised by this, to tell the truth. It’s not like me to be so… what? The word escapes me, and yet, I hear “unmotivated” tickling my brain.
I think maybe I’m ready to answer only to me. Not that I’ve been the most forgiving boss. Still, I suddenly feel a pressing urge to show myself some grace. And sadly, to remind myself that “it’s okay” to not live up to my own high standards.
I need a whole lot of grace, to be honest.
There’s no reason to stress out about things that matter very little in the grand scheme of things. Sure, I’ve got readers who want to read the next book. But are they thinking about me every day while I guiltily binge a streaming show?
No, they are not. I think of them, and I appreciate them. But I am retired.
I will publish something. Soon. Eventually.
My work life began fifty years ago. I’ve taken care of three kids, a very ill husband, and I’m still focused on my mother.
I matter too. I deserve a lot, but I don’t need empty promises, even if they’re ones I’ve made to myself.
I’m working on a memoir about achieving a grace-filled life — the journey has been difficult, but it’s worth it.
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Should You Ditch the Resolutions?
My first year of not working a “real job” was exceptional. Mostly, I learned that retirement isn’t boring. I get bored easily, and I’d truly feared retirement days would drift past me in endless empty minutes.
Such a hard lesson to learn, says this recent retiree who is working on this same lesson.
I can relate to so much of this, Julie. I am viewing less active periods in my life as times when I am gestating. For me, I am learning that I need the down time. Lots happening inside.